Hmmmm.....

I keep thinking about my past. How I keep setting myself up to be hurt. Why do I do it? Do I secretly enjoy it?

Had an amazing dream last night. I was with a very cool guy. A guy I have a crush on. Not that he notices me. He and I in this dream just hung out. No sex. And he liked me! I hope to someday have that for real. With him would be awesome. Someone else okay too.

The more I think about the hurt in my past the angrier I get at myself. Why do I do it? Is it so a guy will like me? Talk to me?

Is it all because I have a shitty relationship with my dad? Do I want to replace him???