Just a girl thing?

So I'm sitting here listening to music on YouTube. Is it just girls that tend to cry when a song touches them? Or do straight guys do it too? I'm sure gay guys do. What is it about music that gets me so caught up in it? I can get a song stuck in my head for days and every time I hear it in full I cry. Or I can get 5 songs stuck in at once.

I know some music is like a story for whomever wrote it. Those get me more then anything. Or when I see a concert band perform I get all teary eyed. No idea why. It could be a bunch of 5th graders out of tune and it gets me every time.

This could all because I'm having yet another crappy night. I don't know what's up with me these days. I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone who will listen and not judge. But I feel like everyone judges me. Judges my looks. How I look, act, what I do at work, the decisions I have made.

I just want to be loved.

Oh what a night.

I'm having one of those nights. A night where I just wonder and think is the world better off with out me? Would anyone really miss me? I know the world is better with me and many would miss me. I just can't help to think its not true sometimes.

After all I am a wallflower. I can blend into the background no prob. I don't like being seen. I don't like myself. I HATE the way I look. Mostly the stupid hair on my face. I think that depresses me the most. It isn't really something I can control.

Sometimes I think if I didn't have the hair would I be more confident? Would I flirt more? Not be so shy? Not be a wallflower? Would I break free of all my crap?

I hate having nights like these.