Am I just a fool to be played with?

Lately I feel like I have been played a fool the last few weeks. If its not one person its another. It could just be me overreacting. I don't know. I just wish I could call said people out on it. But I'm too chicken shit to do so.  Not sure if either of the two main people read this.

I just wish I didn't care so fucking much!!! If only I couldn't give a fuck! But I do.

I hate being me. I want to be someone else. Someone who is liked, loved, and feels it. I know I'm liked and loved. I just don't feel it. Well not from everyone. Sometimes I feel like when I talk its to an empty room. No one listens or cares. It may not be true but its how I feel. Like this blog. I see the views go up but I don't feel as if people are really reading it. Oh well.

Maybe this is the sign I need to get back to church. Maybe even talk to the pastor about counseling. She how much that will cost and maybe get better.