5 years later

So it has been 5 years since I last posted on here. My last post? About an ex. Scary seeing how wonderful/amazing I thought he was. Yes at first he may have been. Things change. Not always for the good.

After a month I met his kids. They seemed fine at first. Then things changed. I was yelled at, beat on, hit, scratched, strangled, belittled and stolen from. Honestly just treated worse than dog crap on a shoe. It took me over a year to get the courage to leave. Once I did it was like a huge weight lifted off me.

I'm still hurt by that relationship. I ended it 4/10/2016. I have only had 2 short relationships since. I just can't seem to make anything work anymore. Maybe I'm too damaged. I'm not worth the time or effort. I'm too depressed. Too fat. Too ugly.

Do I want too much from a partner? Maybe. But I have standards. I'm tired of being used. For sex, money, a place to live and a taxi. Do I need to leave town to find someone? Maybe. But I won't. I can't leave my mom, my family or my job. I'm way to shy for that.

I have no idea where this blog is going. If I'll keep up with it. Right now its just a jumble of thoughts. Feels good to get it out there. Even if no one reads. BTW I can't spell and sometimes have bad grammar.